I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
