she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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