We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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