if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
