so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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