If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
