Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
