If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
