i was born a porn star she said
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
