Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
