Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
