He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
