Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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