Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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