Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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