I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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