Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
