He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
