I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Oh god it's open bar.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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