New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize