We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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