You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
