Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
