He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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