Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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