hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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