hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
