her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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