Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
