So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
