An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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