my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
