he thought i was a dude.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
