i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
