it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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