i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
