My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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