...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
