Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
