If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize