In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Less talking, more tequila
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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