Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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