tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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