i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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