Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
