i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
