Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
