He asked to "fluff my boner.."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
