I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
