i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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