apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize