I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
