Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
