its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
