Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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