he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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