I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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