It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
