New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
