well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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