very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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